147 people have now hit the " like" button signaling their approval of the start of a meaningful and joyful relationship to which I recently committed myself. In high school, one did that by giving away one's class ring. Does anyone even get class rings anymore? As young adults it went from dating to engagement with no middle step. Now, thanks to technology and social media there is a button on Facebook announcing one's relationship, or change in relationship.
As do those of you who followed my old blog about my journey navigating widowhood, I remember changing my status from "married" to "widowed". It was the first of many painful mental adjustments I made last year. And then, from "widowed" to a blank relationship status. I was committed after a time to not defining my identity by sadness. This weekend, after some discussion, I sat next to the man with whom I'm building a new tomorrow. On the count of three we hit the button that would announce our new relationship to the FB world. It felt huge. And that experience brings me to reflect tonight on the impact of technology on my life, and all of our lives.
41 years ago in March or April, I started dating the " new kid" in our suburban high school. On our first date I asked him if he intended to ask me out again. Remember, young women were not usually that brazen back then. I was intrigued by his maturity and wonderful manners. Fortunately we hit it off. We planned, we schemed about our future, when he went to UW I snuck out to visit him many nights. (Sorry Momo.) He broke up with me, I broke up with him; it followed the path of young love. I went to college, and even though he had moved to Minnesota by then, which is where I was, we just couldn't get the timing right. I graduated and married someone else and had two children. Shortly after that he moved to Chicago and got married as well. I divorced and then married Glenn. Through the years however , we always kept in touch. An occasional phone call, letter, class reunions, and then finally, Facebook. We became FB friends five years ago; Glenn had the opportunity to meet Jon at a high school reunion, so most Friday nights would find the three of kibitzing on FB until G would drop off to chat with his online poker buds. During these years we shared the challenges of daily life; most especially Jon's separation and estrangement from his wife, followed by her tragic illness and death. We were two old friends sharing life's challenges safely on line, all made possible by technology. My mother died in March and shortly after that event, I received a beautiful and thoughtful card with wonderful memories of my her from my old friend. A thank you for thinking of me at such a hard time turned into hours on the telephone ...and the rest is as they say, history.
Yes, technology is pervasive and invasive in our lives. But so is every truly life changing development. It has it's advantages and it's drawbacks. So did fire when first discovered. And machinery. And cars. And plastic.
The point is that change is hard. I miss getting written cards and mail and when I do, they are warmly received. But I've learned that an email from a friend who probably wouldn't or couldn't send something by post is precious as well.
I'm sure for some of you, even though you are truly happy about this new development in my journey, that as you pressed the " like"button on the page, there may have been just a second where you realized that life is changing. Again. And it's not always easy.
But often it's wonderful.
Life is for living and for loving those sharing the journey with you.
Continuing....
On the journey.
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