What a strange week it has been. I forced myself to be in the present in my job and in my relationships, all the while knowing that a major event in my life is happening this weekend. I was only able to let go and acknowledge it fully about six-o-clock tonight.
You see, Jon and I are getting married this weekend. It started out as a secret event for legal, tax and health insurance reasons, and has evolved into something very special, and now public, for us. We will have a church blessing and full reception this summer. But this weekend is just about us. My children and spouses will be the only ones in attendance, except for a photographer and a judge. We leave tomorrow for St. Paul; a new dress, a new suit, and dreams for the future in tow.
As you know I've done this before. I'm the person I used to laugh at. This is my third marriage. Really??? But I know now that life throws curve balls quite often...I got knocked out by a couple of them. I would never have chosen it. That I'm getting another chance is humbling and just a bit scary sometimes waiting for the other shoe to drop. When life beats you up, it's a natural reaction. We both feel it.
Both of us have been quiet this week -- happy and confident; perhaps reflective, knowing the power of the commitment we are about to enter. It means so much. That is what makes marriage at our age so completely emotional and different from marrying at an earlier age. We know that time is not on our side. Life and the families we share become precious. I am inheriting a mom and two brothers- in-law that I would have hand-picked if I could. I'm so blessed. Jon feels the same way inheriting my siblings and children, my children, spouses and grandchildren, and of course two pets.
I had a bittersweet evening last week when I mourned my parents and Glenn, whose life was cut so short so suddenly. Because of our age and maturity, Jon just held me until it passed. He remains such a heaven-sent gift to me. This happens when you have life behind you.
Do I have the same excitement as a bride of 25? Absolutely. But it is richer and deeper. It is all about us this time. We bring our lives and experiences to each other in a way that you can't know when you are young. And in our case, it is the completion of a relationship circle that started when I was 16 years old. How cool and amazing is that?
We both find it incredible and overwhelming. And we wouldn't change a thing.
We believe in us, in the power of our love and after all we've been through, we hold on to hope for a long future together.
Isn't that what life is about?
Continuing on the journey.....in awe and joy.
http://open.spotify.com/track/1jvoeTYt8usIxGWQUSzEyz
